Sunday, October 24, 2010

My new dating rules...

OK, my dating techniques haven't worked so far, and since a recent Yahoo article* titled "10 signs your date isn’t The One" makes sense, I'm going to follow it... AND add my own rules! Some of the rules might be obvious, but let me tell you, I've had quite a few losers in my life and it needs to change!

My next man will...

#1 - have friends

#2 - his own life, hobbies, and interests

#3 - respect & understand that I need alone time. Alone time doesn't mean that I'm mad at you or don't like/love you... it simply means I want to be alone.

#4 - have a job and be financially secure. I'm not looking for wealth or to be "taken care of" financially, but if you can't pay your rent/mortgage, forget it.

#5 - have a car. I know I may get flack from this, but too bad. Busses do not come out to my house and I prefer not to be a taxi service. I understand that things happen and vehicles break down (been there too many times), but in general a vehicle is a must.

#6 - live within 30 minutes of my house/work.

#7 - realize that just because I am female does not mean that I will clean the house, do laundry, cook, pack lunches, pay the bills, and cater to your every whim. Men are capable of these things too! We will equally share the responsibility of house-hold chores.

And from the *article's list:
1. Your date is devoted to another.
I do not want a mama's boy. Obviously he loves his mother, but he has a mind of his own and makes his own decisions.

2. Your spending habits don’t match.
See number four above. I don't want to worry about credit card debt; I want to have a savings for trips; I do not need to go out for dinner all the time, nor do I want to eat Ramon noodles every night. I'd like a healthy balance.

3. Your politics are too different.
I would be classified as a democrat. Although I don't think the following things are necessarily "political," they always bring up heated discussions so it's important to mention. I love the earth and I want people to treat her kindly and with love. We (Americans) pollute & trash the earth like it will be around forever; we waste energy and natural resources without care. It needs to stop. I am an advocate for recycling and social justice/human rights. Ask anyone who has dared use Styrofoam in my presence or threw a pop can/bottle or a pile of paper into the trash. Basically if you don't recycle or appreciate other cultures (ethnic or otherwise), we won't last. I am very passionate about many issues and I communicate that passion. I am not perfect in my beliefs, but I try and expect the same in my partner.

4. Your sweetie just doesn’t get your jokes.
I do not appreciate what I call "stupid" humor. I do not think the movie Dumb and Dumber is funny. I do not like Jeff Foxworthy or other blue collar comedy. I'm not saying that none of the jokes are funny, but generally speaking, I do not like "stupid" humor.

5. Your love interest isn’t ready.
I sometimes wonder if this is me... but that's another blog topic! ;)

6. Your honey wants kids and you don’t (or vice versa).
I'm upfront about this with everyone. I do not want children, nor do I want to be a mother to your child/ren. Don't get me wrong, I like children and I love my friends' children. I don't want to raise children or be around them 24/7. If you have children and are involved in their life, I think that's terrific! More fathers need to be like you. BUT children are not for me.

7. Your tastes are too different.
If you enjoy camping in tents, cooking over a fire, and using the great outdoors as your bathroom, that's not something I wish to experience again. I don't want to stay in high-end hotels when I travel, but I don't want to sleep where little creatures roam. In Europe, I like small hotels and mom-&-pop places over the American hotels.

If your idea of a perfect home includes lots of farmland and chickens, that's not who I am. I know where meat comes from, but I do not want to see it running around in my yard.

I prefer to live close to work and not have to deal with sitting in traffic. I like the suburbs where it's quieter, but still close enough to 24/7 grocery stores and evening activities should I decide to do something fun.

8. Your lifestyles clash.
I think #7 sums up this as well.

9. Your first connection fizzles.
Makes sense. LOL

And finally, I'll let #10 speak for itself:
10. Your relationship has you on edge. “I believe that The One strengthens you, lifts you up and does not produce anxiety,” says Kathryn Alice, author of Love Will Find You. “When something isn’t right, your intuition keeps trying to let you know by putting nagging doubts in your mind as well as continual anxiety. This is a gut thing, and your gut is rarely wrong.”

* http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=8582&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=692725